I know I have mentioned this before in other social media but I just have to make mention of it again as we are in the thick of the wedding season.
The bride, groom and their families have so many details to take care of, and the last thing they need is to be bothered by self-centered guests who feel their problems are more important those of the brides and grooms.
If you have been invited to a wedding, and you really don’t want or can’t attend, then respond honestly. Do not string the bride along with maybes and “I’m not sure”. They normally have to pay one to two weeks in advance for their reception, and there is nothing we can do when people just don’t show up. To respond at the last minute means they have to change their whole floor plan, obtain escort cards, favors, etc.
If you have responded that you will attend, then show up! Obviously people have emergencies, but some of the excuses I’ve heard are nothing short of embarrassing for the guest and painful for the bride and groom. They obviously want you at their wedding, that’s why you were invited. If you have a last minute emergency, call the parents or a bridal party member, not the bride and groom. And by all means you should still send your gift, as they probably paid for your food and drinks already.
If you were invited with a guest, then you have the option of bringing a guest, but if you were invited alone, then never just show up with a last minute date. Again, we have to scramble through re-setting tables, providing escort cards and now have a charge to settle at the end of the reception. If you responded that you will not attend…then don’t. Never just show up to a reception if you were not expected.
If you were invited with family, then it is permissable to bring children, but many weddings are adults only. Never presume your children are welcome unless the invitation has stated as much. And of course, never just show up with your uninvited children in tow, expecting them to be seated and fed.
Weddings in this area are generally semi-formal, which means a tie and jacket minimally. Jeans, sneakers, t-shirts and casual wear are not acceptable. I continue to be astonished at how guests show up for weddings at a place that has Yacht Club in their name.
Many guests call us and ask how much the wedding costs, so they know how much to give. This is inappropriate. Your gift should reflect what you are able to give. I feel so awkward when those calls come and the guest may be suprised at how much weddings cost in this area. Your personal economic situation should reflect the gift you give. You were invited because the bride and groom wanted to share their most special day with you, not because you will give a big gift.